Fragility
by alphaangel
Summary: Sara becomes ill at a crime scene. Chapter seven is finally here. Sorry about the delay :
1. Chapter 1

**Fragility**

She rubbed her eyes.

That was his first clue, should have been his first clue. Sara Sidle who could easily work double, triple shifts was exhausted after just a few short hours.

But he was too busy watching her slender hands lay out the crime scene photos that she had taken to notice how exhausted she was.

He took a quick look around the room to check that they were alone. "Are you ok?" He asked gently.

"I'm fine." Came the quick standard reply that she had muttered so many times before. Then she realised who she was talking to and pause. "I don't know, feeling a bit strange. I think I might be coming down with 'flu or something." She said sighing.

"Maybe you should go home and get some rest?" He said carefully. Sara could be quite unpredictable when it came to encouraging her to go home.

She moved closer towards him and rested her head on his shoulder as he placed one hand on the small of her back. "I'll be ok, I want to get this case wrapped up."

"Ok." He replied watching her carefully for a second before turning back to the photos in front of them.

"Griss, Sara?" Catherine said opening the door to the lay out room. We've got a hit off the DNA from the body. A Craig Hayles. Brass has an address and a warrant, we're heading over there now."

"Meet you outside in two minutes." Grissom replied as he and Sara began collecting the photos back together to be placed back in the file.

"Are you sure you're ok to go out? You can stay in the lab if you're not feeling well enough." Gil placed his hand on her forehead. "Honey, you're burning up. You should rest."

"I've got tomorrow night off, I'll rest then." Sara said removing his hand from her forehead and placing a small kiss on his palm. "Stop worrying about me, it's just 'flu."

"I can't help it, I love you."

"You're forgiven. But only because I love you too." She smiled at him. "Now come on, that crime scene isn't going to process itself."

---

Gil gave Sara a small wink as she got in behind him to let Catherine sit in the front seat. Nick, Warrick and Greg were travelling to the scene in another car.

"Where is this place?" Sara asked trying to get comfy in the back seat.

"On the edge of the desert. It'll take about forty five minutes, why don't you get some sleep?"

Sara opened her mouth to mutter 'I'm fine' but decided against it, she was feeling pretty exhausted and might as well use the time effectively.

She rested her head on the window and closed her eyes.

"Are you ok, Sara?" Catherine said twisting around in her seat to get a better look. Gil glanced at her in the rear view mirror.

"Just a headache." She replied closing her eyes against the harsh glare of the headlights from the oncoming traffic.

Catherine opened the glove box and took something out. "Here." She said handing Sara a packet of Aspirin and a bottle of water.

Sara looked surprised for a second. "Thanks." She said feeling touched. She could feel tears welling up and tried to convince herself that it was just the bright light causing it but she knew that it was the unexpected kindness from Catherine. _Wow, _she thought, _I must be sick if I'm crying just because someone has given me some pain killers._

Gil noticed Sara's unusual emotional state and frowned with concern. He considered asking her if she was alright again but bit his lip knowing that the more he pushed, the more she would pretend that she was fine.

Sara closed her eyes again and lent back against the head rest. Her entire body was aching, she was sure that she was coming down with 'flu, she also knew that Gil would insist on her resting in bed for days. At least she could battle through this case and collapse into bed, with Gil at her side, when it was closed. For the first time in her adult life, she hoped they would wrap this case up quickly.

Sara only felt like her eyes had been closed for a few minutes when she was woken by the car stopping abruptly. She cracked her eyes open a little and saw an average looking house which was set on the edge of town. Las Vegas, lit with neon colours, stood one side, while the darkness of the desert surrounded the other.

Sara fumbled with her seat belt as Catherine and Gil jumped out of the car and slammed their doors. Without thinking about it Gil opened Sara's door and held his hand out to help her up. She gracefully accepted his help and gripped the comfort of his hand for a moment too long, which did not go unnoticed by Catherine's eager eyes. Catherine frowned suspiciously, a small smile appearing on her lips as she put two and two together.

Neither Gil or Sara noticed Catherine watching them however, Gil was too busy watching Sara for signs of illness while Sara was too busy hiding them to avoid worrying Gil.

Sara involuntarily rubbed her stiff neck, blaming the uncomfortable position she had been sitting in for the journey. Gil raised one eyebrow in concern but Sara shook her head and smiled at him. Each knew what every little gesture meant and could communicate without actually using any words, which came in handy with a couple of socially-inept science geeks.

They grabbed their kits and met Nick, Warrick and Greg before walking up the drive to greet Brass.

"Think he might not be the murderer." Brass commented as they prepared to step through the front door.

"What makes you think that?" Catherine said gazing into the first room. "Ah."

"Yes, ah indeed." Brass replied.

"Lovely, his brains are splattered up his living room wall, now that isn't a look they advise on any interior design programmes I've watched." Nick said also having a look at their new crime scene.

"You watch interior design programmes, Nicky?" Catherine asked grinning at him.

"I watch day time TV when I can't sleep." He replied with a defensive look.

"Sure you do!" Warrick teased.

"Brass would you like to fill us in on the crime scene once these lot have finished." Grissom said eager to get started as soon as possible so they could finish sooner.

"Yeah, we arrived about twenty minutes ago, the door was unlocked and we found our friend in there with his brains doing a good impression of wall paper. Cleared and secured the scene, didn't touch anything, coroner is on his way."

"Thanks. Right, Cath and Warrick downstairs. Nick, Greg upstairs. Sara and I will do outside."

Sara trailed after Grissom, without noticing that she had been given an easy job and was practically being baby sat by him, to be honest she noticed but she just didn't care.

---

Grissom looked up to see Doctor Robbins limping up the drive. "No David tonight?"

"It's his wedding anniversary so I thought I should let him have the night off."

"I'm sure his wife will appreciate that."

"Hey Sara." The Doc said looking towards where she was leaning against the wall. "Are you ok? You don't look well."

Sara didn't answer, she grabbed at the window sill in an attempt to steady herself as she slid sideways slightly.

Grissom turned around to face her. "Sara?" He called rushing over to where she stood to catch her in time.

"Why don't we sit you down and I'll take a quick look at you." The Doc said as he and Gil lead her towards a nearby police car.

"Sick." She muttered quietly, shaking them off as she leant forwards and vomited on the ground. Grissom took hold of her arm to support as she was sick again.

"All done?" The Doc asked. They sat her down in the back of the police car. "How long have you been feeling ill Sara?"

Sara opened her mouth to answer but could not make the correct words come out. "A few hours," Gil replied for her, "she thought she was coming down with 'flu."

The Doc placed his hand against her forehead. "She has a fever. What other symptoms?"

"A headache, tired, her neck was stiff when we got here."

"Has she had a rash at all?" The Doc asked urgently, checking her arms and legs.

"Not that I've noticed." Gil replied suddenly looking terrified.

"Sara, I need you to open your eyes and look at me."

Sara opened her eyes and closed them tightly when she saw the torch that Gil was holding. "Hurts." She whispered.

"I need you to stay with me Sara. Have you had a rash on you anywhere."

Sara didn't seem to hear the question. "I've contaminated the crime scene." She muttered almost incoherently as she stood unsteadily and pushed passed them.

Hearing the commotion outside Brass, Catherine and Warrick came through the front door to see what was going on. They were just in time to see Sara loose her balance and fall sideways onto the ground. They all hurried down the grass to where Gil and the Doc where by her side.

"What's going on?" Nick asked as he and Greg also joined them.

"She's having a seizure." The Doc said calmly as Sara's muscles began contracting involuntarily. "Protect her head, Gil. Some one call an ambulance, I think she may have meningitis."

Gil knelt down next to Sara's head and placed his hands between her head and the ground, his face showed the terror that he felt as he watched his beloved Sara so ill in front of him. Brass took out his phone and called for an ambulance.

**Reviews?**


	2. Chapter 2

I am so sorry that this chapter took so long and for leaving you all hanging on a cliff hanger for so long. Thank you so much for all the reviews that I have had for this 'fic, they are all very much appreciated.

**Fragility **

**Chapter 2**

"Meningitis?" Gil said in horror. "But she didn't have a rash before shift." He was so frightened he didn't know what he was saying.

Catherine was the only one to pick it up. How could Gil know that she hadn't had a rash?

"There isn't always a rash, especially in adults." The Doc said without looking up from his patient. "Or it may have developed in the last few hours."

After a few minutes the seizure started to ease. "Her temperature is extremely high." The Doc said with his hand on her forehead. "Sara, can you hear me?"

Sara moaned quietly as she started to come around. Her head felt like it was heavy but filled with cotton wool.

"Can you open your eyes Sara?" The Doc said persevering.

She shifted uncomfortably, trying to get away from the questions. She knew someone was speaking but she didn't have the energy to listen.

"Jim, how long until the ambulance gets here?" Doctor Robbins asked.

"Two minutes." He replied watching the woman he thought of as his daughter frighteningly ill.

"Try to lay still Sara." Al said, laying his hand gently on Sara's shoulder to stop her moving.

Grissom sighed with relief when he heard the siren approaching. He looked up as two paramedics came hurrying up the drive.

"Her name is Sara Sidle. She has a fever, headache, neck ache and vomiting. I suspect she may have meningitis."

"Miss Sidle can you hear me?" The first paramedic asked, kneeling down beside her.

Grissom stood back with the team and watched as the paramedics treated Sara. Catherine placed her hand reassuringly on his back, rubbing in gentle circles.

Gil didn't hesitate, he jumped in the back of the ambulance with Sara, leaving the team alone.

The team watched in stunned silence as the ambulance drove away with Sara and Grissom inside.

"Doc, is she going to be ok?" Greg said breaking the silence.

The doc took a deep breath. "I hope so Greg."

Catherine looked around confused for a second. "Ok guys, the sooner we finish up here the sooner we can get to the hospital." The guys turned around and went back into the abandoned crime scene.

---

Grissom sat beside Sara holding tightly onto her hand as the paramedic worked around them. She placed an oxygen mask over Sara's mouth and took her temperature.

"Does she have any medical conditions?" She asked him.

"No, nothing." Grissom replied looking up from Sara's face.

"Allergies?"

"No." He replied. "Yes, she's allergic to penicillin."

"OK." She noted it down on the form she was filling in.

"Has she taken any medication?"

"She took some aspirin about an hour ago." Grissom could hardly concentrate on what was being said to him, he knew how serious meningitis was, and it terrified him seeing Sara so desperately ill.

"We'll be at Desert Palms soon." She said in a soft voice.

Grissom nodded silently, turning back to face Sara. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. Sara's eyes opened and closed again within a second, the bright light of the ambulance hurting.

"Sara?" Grissom had seen her eyes flicker. "Sweetheart."

"Gil?" She muttered, her voice confused and husky from beneath the oxygen mask. "Hurts."

"It's ok, sweetheart, you're going to be ok." He smiled at her even though she couldn't see him with her eyes tightly closed to block out the light. He stroked the hair back from her face hoping that she would be reassured by his presence.

"We'll be at the hospital in just a moment." The paramedic said looking out of the window.

"Hospital?" Sara said in a frightened voice. "No."

"You're sick, Sara. You need to go to the hospital but it's ok, I'll be right beside you."

Sara squeezed his hand slightly and then drifted back into unconsciousness. They arrived at the hospital seconds later and Grissom fought to stay beside her as medical staff gathered around. He wouldn't let them push him away, he said he'd stay beside her and he didn't want to be a liar.

He watched a nurse take a blood sample from Sara's hand. She squeezed his hand as the needle penetrated the skin of her hand. "It's ok." He whispered into her ear. He could tell that she was aware of what was going on around her, he knew that she was terrified. She was scared of hospitals at the best of times and the high temperature she had was leaving her confused.

"Are you her emergency contact?" A doctor asked him.

He looked up from Sara's face and nodded. "Yes, Gil Grissom."

"We suspect bacterial meningitis so we're starting her on antibiotics immediately but we need to confirm the diagnosis quickly. We're going to perform a lumbar puncture. We'll insert a needle directly into the spine and remove some cerebrospinal fluid which we will test for the bacteria."

Grissom nodded, he knew what a lumbar puncture was, and he knew that it was painful.

The doctor turned his attention back to Sara. "Miss Sidle, we need to take a sample of the fluid in your spine. It's going to hurt a little but it'll be over quickly."

"No." Sara moaned. She tried to shake her head but the pain in her neck stopped her.

The doctor looked across to Gil. "Just give me a second to talk to her."

"You need to be quick." The doctor replied stepping back and signalling silently for the nurse to prepare the necessary equipment.

"Sweetheart, I know you're scared but I promise I will only let them do what is for the best." He said quickly. "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah." She murmured. "Ok, but don't leave me."

"I won't, I promise." He looked over to the doctor and nodded.

"Ok, Sara, we're going to roll you onto your side." The nurse said helping Sara to do so and then gently pulling her knees up towards her chest.

Grissom stood in front of her, holding her hand and stroking her head. Sara jumped slightly as her back was washed with cold iodine. The doctor found the right spot and injected an anaesthetic into her skin. "Ok, Sara, you're going to feel a little pressure and then it will all be done." The doctor said as the nurse handed him a long spinal needle.

Sara squeezed Grissom's hand as the doctor inserted the needle, she moaned slightly. "Ssh, it's ok, nearly over." Gil whispered.

The doctor collected a few drops of the spinal fluid and then removed the needle, stepping back to allow the nurse to apply pressure. "All done." He said as he handed the sample to another nurse to take it to the lab.

"There we go sweetheart, it's all over." Grissom said, tenderly wiping the tears that had slipped from beneath her eye lids away with his thumb.

"Let's get her up to intensive care."


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all the reviews, they are very much appreciated. Sorry for keeping you waiting for so long. Here goes...

**Fragility**

**Chapter 3**

Grissom followed Sara up to the intensive care ward. The nurse stopped him from entering the room. "Mr Grissom, you need to wait outside."

"No way, I'm not leaving her."

"I'm sorry but it's hospital policy, you cannot come in here."

"Look she is terrified of hospitals, she will stay a lot calmer if I..."

"Mr Grissom, I will contact security if I have to."

Gil took a deep breath to prevent himself from losing his temper. "I'll just call Edward Dark, the hospital director and see what he can do about this policy." Grissom replied taking out his phone and retreating from the nurse.

After Mr Dark's home had been broken into and his wife terrorised, it had been Sara and Grissom who had worked the case and found the evidence to have the man responsible arrested before he could do any more harm. The man had given Grissom his cell phone number and told him to call if he ever needed a favour. It wasn't unusual for a grateful victim to promise a favour to Grissom at the end of a case but this was the first time in his career that Grissom had even considered calling a favour inbefore.

"_Edward Dark." _Came the sleep filled answer.

"It's Gil Grissom, I'm sorry for waking you but I need that favour you promised and it can't wait."

"_Go on."_

"It's my colleague, Sara Sidle, they think she has meningitis. She's in intensive care but they won't let me stay with her. She's terrified of hospitals, and sick, and confused and I promised her that I wouldn't leave her."

"_Where are you now?"_

"Outside her room."

"_Stay there, I'll sort it out."_

Grissom sighed with relief. "Thank you."

"_You're welcome."_

Grissom paced the corridor outside Sara's room alternating between watching her through the window and watching the clock.

It was less than five minutes before a harassed looking doctor came hurrying towards him. "Dr Grissom?" He asked when he was a few feet away from him. Grissom nodded in reply.

"My name is Jack Mercer, I'm the lead physician tonight. I've just spoken to Mr Dark, I apologise for any confusion, you can of cause stay with Miss Sidle, if that would be beneficiary to her. However, please understand that meningitis is contagious so if you feel yourself becoming unwell you must inform us."

Grissom nodded his understanding eager to get back to Sara. The doctor lead him into Sara's room. The nurse who had originally barred his entrance looked up sharply and opened her mouth.

"Nurse if I could see you outside for a moment please." He said leaving Grissom and another nurse alone in the room. "Please get Mr Grissom a chair." He said to the remaining nurse as they left.

Gil sat down beside Sara, her hand moved as though searching for his, he caught it and held onto it.

"We've given her a light sedative to help her stay calm." The nurse said in a hushed voice. "If you've got any questions just ask, my name's Anna."

Grissom smiled at her and then looked down at Sara, who tried to open her eyes but then closed them again. "Can you turn the lights down at all? It's hurting her eyes."

"Yes, of course." Anna said, recognising the squint of her patients eyes. She dimmed the lights, allowing Sara to open her eyes slightly.

"Hi sweetheart." He said catching sight of her brown eyes. Sara smiled as much as the oxygen mask would allow and then closed her eyes again, tiredness getting the better of her.

Grissom heard muffled voices outside and turned to see Doc Robbins talking to the doctor who had allowed him in.

The door opened and Doc Robbins limped in. "The team are waiting outside." Gil looked back to see Catherine looking through the window with a concerned smile on her face. He could see the shadows of the guys stood nearby.

"How is she?"

Gil shrugged slightly. "I'm not sure."

"They've confirmed that it is bacterial meningitis. They're giving the rest of the team antibiotics as a precaution, you'll have to take them too."

"Al, tell me honestly, is she going to be ok?"

Doc Robbins sighed before answering. "Ok, Gil, I'm not going to lie to you, bacterial meningitis is serious. Until they can do some more tests they won't know how serious but Sara is young and strong and she is a fighter. She is underweight though and she hasn't been taking very good care of herself recently, working too hard, sleeping too little. The next few days will be critical."

Grissom nodded and looked at Sara's sleeping face.

"Catherine wanted me to tell you that she will sort everything out with the lab so not to worry about it, and she said that if you need anything to just ask."

"Thanks."

"I have to get back to the morgue, I've got an autopsy to perform. Call me if you have any questions."

"Thanks Al."

He watched Doc Robbins leave and then turned his attention back to Sara, carefully stoking down her arm, avoiding the wires and tubes that invaded her body.

---

Grissom woke to the sound of the nurse coming into the room. "We're going to take Sara for a scan now, you can wait here if you like but we'll be about thirty minutes so maybe you should go get some fresh air, stretch your legs, get a coffee."

Grissom nodded, he didn't want to leave her but he knew he was already pushing his luck by staying with her at all. He kissed Sara's forehead and left the room.

"Catherine?" He was surprised to find her dozing on a chair outside Sara's room.

Catherine awoke with a start and rubbed her eyes as she stood up.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Shift's over, Lindsey's at school, thought you could do with some support. How is she?"

Grissom shrugged. "They're taking her for a scan now. You want to grab a coffee?"

Catherine yawned, "definitely."

They found the cafeteria and slumped down at a table with coffees.

"You can tell me to mind my own business if you want Gil but there's something going on between you and Sara, isn't there?"

Gil looked down at his coffee. "We've been seeing each other for just over a year, we didn't want to tell anyone, it's against lab policy and it's been going really well, we didn't want to jinx it."

"I won't tell anyone." Catherine said, reaching over and placing her hand on top of his.

"Thanks." He looked at his watch. "The nurse said thirty minutes, she should be back soon." They finished their coffees and made their way back to Sara's room. They could hear the commotion from down the corridor, Catherine followed as Grissom ran the rest of the way to the room.

The nurse caught him at the door, stopping him before he got into the room. "Mr Grissom, Sara's condition deteriorated on the way back the scan. She had a second seizure. She's not breathing on her own at the moment." Grissom looked through the window at Sara, terror was evident on his face.

The nurse touched Grissom's arm gently. "Mr Grissom, the scan showed significant swelling on Sara's brain. It's serious."

Grissom suddenly felt lightheaded, Catherine and the nurse caught him as his legs failed to support him.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, I am so sorry for the delay. Term has just started at Uni so I have been really busy and I didn't have internet for two weeks in my new house (blame stupid student accommodation and lazy internet men!) Anyway, please, please, please review.

**Fragility**

**Chapter 4**

Between the two of them, Catherine and the nurse managed to manoeuvre Grissom into a nearby chair. He took a couple of deep breaths, watching his hands shake. "What are you doing? How are you treating her?"

"She is being treated with aggressive antibiotics to kill the bacteria and we're giving her steroids to reduce the swelling in her brain. She is on a ventilator to assist with her breathing and we're giving her fluids. All we can do at the moment is treat the symptoms and support her body to give it a chance to recover."

Grissom opened his mouth to ask about the prognosis but didn't think he could stand to hear the answer, sometimes ignorance really was bliss.

"Can I go back in and sit with her?"

The nurse nodded. "Of course."

Grissom stood, his legs still shaking slightly, and walked back into the room, resuming his place beside her.

Catherine took out her cell phone to contact Doc Robbins. "You can't use that in here." The nurse said with an apologetic look on her face. "There's a phone on the desk just down the corridor, you can use that."

"Thanks." Catherine said as she turned quickly to leave.

"Doc, I'm sorry did I wake you?" Catherine asked as soon as he answered.

"_It's ok. Has something happened?"_

"Sara has got worse. She had another seizure. They've got her on a ventilator, said that she had 'significant swelling' in her brain."

There was silence for a second while he digested this information. _"I'm coming to Desert Palms now. I won't be long."_

Catherine closed her eyes. "Thanks Al."

She returned to wait outside the room, watching as Grissom held Sara's hand tenderly, his eyes never leaving her face.

Catherine heard Al's voice down the corridor thirty minutes later. She followed the sound, until she saw him talking to the doctor.

He turned to her as the doctor walked away.

"It's bad, isn't it?" She asked in an unusually small voice.

"It's serious, yes." He replied nodding slightly. "Catherine, you might want to call the team in, let them know that she's deteriorated. I think they'd want to be here, don't you?"

She nodded trying not to think about the implications of what he was saying. She couldn't stand the thought that the team might need to be here to say goodbye to their friend.

She returned to the phone she had used previously while Doc Robbins quietly opened the door to Sara's room.

She dialled Brass's number first.

"_Brass."_

"Jim, it's Catherine."

"_Is Sara ok?"_ Catherine had told him that she was planning on returning to the hospital as soon as she had taken Lindsey to school.

"No. She's worse. Al Robbins is here, he thinks that the team need to come in."

"_Shit. Do you want me to call everyone else?"_

"Please, Jim. Get here as soon as possible."

Catherine hung up the phone and returned to stand outside Sara's room. She watched Grissom and Al talk, unable to hear their words.

Al appeared to be talking while Grissom watched Sara's chest rise and fall.

---

"Tell me the truth Al. What's going to happen?"

"One of three things is going to happen, Gil. She might recover completely. She might recover with some permanent damage or disability. Or she might not recover at all."

Grissom closed his eyes, feeling the tears pooling beneath his eyelids, he had never been this close to breaking down before.

"What are the chances?"

"That's not something that I can say. There are too many factors involved."

Grissom sighed. He was a scientist, he was used to having the answers.

"Catherine's contacting the rest of the team. I think they should be here."

Grissom nodded. "Yeah," he said closing his eyes again, "they should be here."

"Look Gil, don't give up hope. Sara's strong."

---

Brass called the rest of the team in turn, waking each up from restless sleep for the news they least wanted to hear.

Nick arrived first, he lived closest to the hospital and so had a shorter distance to travel. "Cath," he called down the corridor when he saw her, "what's going on? Brass didn't say much on the phone."

"She's got worse Nicky." Catherine said, standing up and walking towards him.

"She's going to be ok though, isn't she." He couldn't even think about the alternative.

Catherine said nothing but that was all the answer he needed.

"Can we see her?"

Catherine shook her head. "Grissom and Doc Robbins are in with her at the moment. I don't think that they'll let us it, meningitis is contagious."

"I don't care, I want to see her. I don't give a stuff if I catch it." He said aggressively.

"I know Nicky but I can't force them to let us in."

"But they've let Grissom in."

"Yeah but I think they're might be more going on between Grissom and Sara than any of us realised."

It took a moment for Catherine's meaning to settle in. "Oh. You mean they're..."

"I think it's safe to say that Grissom is probably Sara's emergency contact."

"Oh." Nick said again, unable to believe that he could have missed something so big.

Greg came hurrying down the corridor seconds later, his hair was sticking up and it was obvious that he hadn't stopped to look in the mirror before leaving for the hospital. "How is she?"

"She's deteriorated." Catherine said to Greg gently.

"But they can treat meningitis, I know they can, I watched a documentary about it."

"They are treating her, they're giving her antibiotics, but it is serious Greg."

"Can we see her?" He asked, repeating Nick's question from only moments ago.

"Grissom is in with her at the moment."

"What about when he's done?"

"I'm not sure, meningitis is contagious, I don't think they'll let us in."

"But we've already been exposed to it working with her, another few minutes isn't going to do us any harm."

"Yeah, I suppose so. We'll ask later."

Brass and Warrick came down the corridor together.

"Has there been any change?" Jim asked Catherine.

"Not since I called you."

"How's Grissom?" Warrick asked, maintaining a calmer attitude than Nick and Greg managed.

"Scared." Catherine answered honestly.

Nick moved past Catherine to look through the window in the door to Sara's room.

He watched Grissom as he held Sara's hand gently in his own. He could see Al talking to Grissom but he didn't seem to be listening. Then he refocused his gaze on Sara, lying pale and lifeless in the bed. He realised then the seriousness of Sara's condition and the possibility that she really could die.


	5. Chapter 5

I am so sorry this has taken so long to be updated. My friend got me addicted to Torchwood and I've been busy at Uni so I've not had time to even think about CSI. Slap on the wrist to me. I would be so grateful for any reviews.

**Fragility **

**Chapter 5**

Gil woke with a start as a door opened, he'd not been asleep long but had finally been lulled into slumber by the steady beep of the machines that were keeping Sara alive.

He turned to see the nurse smiling apologetically at him. "You look exhausted Doctor Grissom, you should go home, get some sleep."

Gil shook his head. "No, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving her. I don't want her to be alone."

The nurse smiled, she picked up the file at the end of the bed and began making notes.

"Is there any change?"

"Not much, but she's stable."

Grissom sighed slightly. "Can she hear me?"

"Possibly, there's a lot of debate about it. But most people believe that an unconscious patient will have some awareness of what is happening around them. Talking to her might help, a familiar voice can do a lot when someone is so ill." The nurse patted him gently on the shoulder and then left the room.

He reached over and took hold of her hand, noticing how cold it was, she always had warm hands.

"Sweetheart? I'm not sure if you can hear me, but, I've got a feeling that you can. Don't know why, I haven't got any evidence, just a feeling.

I love you, I know I don't tell you enough. I should tell you every minute of every day but I don't. Just take it for granted that you know. I do love you though. I've loved you forever, for my whole life.

I know your probably scared, even though you'd deny it. But you don't need to be scared. I'm here and I promise that I will do everything I can, I won't let anyone do anything unless it is the best for you. So just relax, let yourself get better. I promise I won't leave your side. I'm not going to leave this hospital until you do." He kissed her hand gently.

---

Catherine caught the nurse as she left the room. "Can we see her?"

"I'm sorry, we can't risk you catching meningitis." The nurse said quietly.

"But we work with Sara, surely we've already been exposed to it. What difference is it going to make if we see her again?" Greg said anxiously.

"Ok, I'll talk to the doctor. He'll probably want you to take the preventative medication anyway seeing as you've come into to close contact with her. I'll ask him when he comes to do his rounds."

---

"I've spoken to the doctor. You need to each take this tablet. It helps to prevent meningitis. Then you can see her, but only one at a time and just for a short time."

"Thank you." They all said swallowing the tablet down willingly.

---

Catherine entered the room quietly, closing the door silently behind her. She sat down beside the bed on the opposite side to Grissom.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Grissom said softly, not taking his eyes off of Sara's face.

"Yes, she is."

"I've loved her since the moment I first met her. I was at the Forensic Academy Conference, giving a lecture and she was there. She kept on asking questions. I'd been staring at her throughout the lecture." He smiled slightly. "She was quite a distraction."

He continued gently stroking her hand with his thumb. "I've wasted so much time, Catherine. Far too much time. And now I might lose her and I don't think I could bare that."

"She's strong Gil. She's a fighter."

---

"Is she going to die?" Greg asked quietly.

"No." Nick replied firmly. "She isn't."

"She'll be ok." Warrick said calmly.

Greg looked anxiously at the clock and then at the door to Sara's room, he'd been doing it repeatedly since he had sat down.

---

"How long have you known her?"

"Seven years."

"We all wondered about her when you brought her in. She must have loved you even then to drop everything and move to Vegas."

"I never really thought about it like that. I thought she'd be good for the team and I really wanted to work with her. Didn't think about it from her point of view."

---

"Catherine thinks that Sara and Grissom are together." Nick said after several minutes of silence, interrupted only by Greg's fidgeting.

"Seriously?" Warrick asked looking surprised.

"They are, have been for a while." Brass said as everyone turned to look at him in surprise. "I've seen them together a couple of times."

"Grissom must be terrified." Warrick said.

---

"I've never been more scared."

"She'll be alright."

"What if she's not?"

---

"Can't believe we didn't realise."

"That must have been a nightmare to keep from us."

"What are they like together?" Greg asked curiously.

Brass smiled. "It's sweet. Sara actually lets Grissom take care of her."

"Does he love her?" Nick asked, he was protective of Sara.

"He's loved her for years. It's just taken him a while to notice."

---

"I thought she just had 'flu. I knew she was ill. I should have done something."

"Gil, there is no way you could have known that she had meningitis."

"I should have made her get checked out, or stayed in the lab. If she'd been in the lab when she collapsed then she would have got to hospital quicker."

"If she'd been in the lab she might have been alone. And she wouldn't have had Al there to diagnose her."

"No, this is my fault, Catherine. She was exhausted, she's been working too hard. That made her vulnerable to illness. I shouldn't have let her work so much."

"Gil, this is ridiculous. When has anyone ever been able to tell Sara Sidle that she's working too hard. This isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault. She came into contact with the bacteria somewhere and she got sick. It was just bad luck."

Grissom shook his head. "I should have done something. I should have known."

He jumped up in surprise as he felt someone squeeze his hand. "Sara?"


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to all the people who reviewed, and especially to all those who forgave me for not updating for so long.

I am so sorry for leaving this so long again. I get very easily side tracked! I handed my final year project in today. So relieved that it is all done! Just another ton of coursework, too many exams and a whole lot of stress and then graduation! Then the real stress starts – job hunting! :( I'm rubbish at proofreading so I apologise for any mistakes.

**Fragility**

**Chapter 6**

"Sara, sweetheart?" He asked desperately.

She squeezed his hand again slightly.

"I'll go and get the doctor." Catherine said, watching Sara's hand move. She dashed out through the door and ran past the rest of the team as they waited in the corridor.

"Catherine? What's happened?" Nick called down the corridor as she disappeared.

She returned moments later with a nurse and a doctor, stopping outside the door as they continued on through.

"What's happened? Has she got worse?" Greg asked. They had all stood when Catherine had come running out of the room, fearing the worst.

Catherine shook her head, she was breathing heavily with the excitement and exertion. "She moved her hand. Sara squeezed Grissom's hand."

"That's good right?" Greg asked anxiously.

"I think so. It can't be bad, can it?"

CSI

"She moved her hand." Grissom said jumping up as soon as the doctor and nurse entered the room.

The doctor was instantly at Sara's side. "Miss Sidle? Can you hear me?"

Sara groaned slightly, twisting her stiff neck away from the sound of his voice.

"Nice to have you back with us, Sara." He said smiling as she blinked cautiously. "Mr Grissom, if you could leave us for a few minutes to examine Miss Sidle."

"Yes, of course." He bent over and kissed Sara gently on the forehead. "I love you." He murmured quietly so only she could hear.

CSI

"What's happening, Gil?" Brass asked as soon as he left the room.

"She seems to be waking up." Grissom said shaking his head in disbelief.

"Thank God." Nick said with a sigh of relief. They waited for several moments in awkward silence. No one really knew what to say. There were no words to express how any of them felt.

They crowded around in a semi circle when the doctor left the room, he stopped to talk to them as a group.

"Sara is starting to come around, she's now breathing on her own and seems to be aware of what is going on around her. However, she is very drowsy, her temperature is still too high and she is still very sick. She's not out of the woods yet but it's looking positive. We'll take her for another scan in the morning. You can go back and sit with her Mr Grissom."

"Thank you." Grissom said sighing, the tension he had felt for the past few hours seemed to ease slightly. "Thank you."

Grissom stepped away from the group and stood with his back to them for a minute as he rubbed his eyes and took a few shaky breaths. He opened his eyes and turned back to face them. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out.

"It's ok Gil. Go back to her. We'll be right outside if you need us." Catherine said gently, placing a hand on his back.

Grissom nodded wordlessly and returned to Sara's room.

"He really loves her, doesn't he?" Greg said as the door closed.

CSI

Grissom smiled at the nurse who was still stood beside Sara. She stood back and let him sit down next to Sara again. The blinds had been closed to darken the room to a level that was more comfortable for her.

"Hi, sweetheart." Grissom said as the nurse left.

"Gil?" The voice was muffled but he could still hear her.

"I'm here."

"Want to go home." She muttered.

He laughed slightly. "Not yet, darling. Soon. And I'm not going anywhere."

She let out a small contented sigh and allowed herself to drift back off to sleep, comforted by the feeling of Grissom gently stroking her hand with his thumb.

Exhaustion won over and he soon followed her and fell asleep.

CSI

He woke up to Catherine gently shaking him. "What is it?"

"You need to go home, Gil. Get some proper sleep and eat." She whispered.

"No, I'm not leaving her."

"I'll stay here. You need some sleep."

"I was sleeping until you woke me."

"Go Gil." Sara had apparently woken up and had an opinion on the matter.

"No, I don't want to leave you."

"'m fine. Don't want you to make yourself ill. Please, go and get some rest."

Grissom still looked unsure but Sara had done a lot to convince him. "Brass is outside, he'll take you home and then bring you back in the morning. We checked, they're not going to do Sara's scan until at least nine am."

"Ok." Grissom nodded. "But you call me if anything changes."

"I will."

Gil looked hesitantly back at Sara once more before nodding again, kissing Sara on the forehead and leaving.

"Thanks Catherine."

"What for?" Catherine relied sitting down beside Sara.

"Looking after Grissom."

"That's no problem Sara. Don't worry about Grissom, we'll keep an eye on him. You just rest and get better." She took Sara's hand in her own and held tightly onto it.

CSI

Catherine looked over from the magazine she was reading a few hours later when she felt Sara stirring slightly beside her. Sara's fists were clenched tightly and she seemed to be fighting off some unknown threat.

"Sara? It's ok, you're just having a nightmare."

Sara's eye jolted open suddenly and then shut firmly against the light. She blinked a few times to allow her eyes to adjust to the light level.

"It's ok, it's just a nightmare."

"It was so real. The screaming was so loud."

"It's the fever causing it. But you're safe."

"Where is Grissom?"

"He went home to sleep. Do you remember? Brass took him home."

"Oh yeah."

"He'll be back in a few hours."

Sara nodded, wincing when it hurt her stiff neck. "I want to go home." Sara muttered forgetting that Catherine was there.

"You can soon. And we're not going to leave you by yourself." Catherine replied, reaching over and gently taking hold of Sara's hand. "Go back to sleep Sara, you need to rest."

"Will you talk to me, the dreams are so vivid I get confused over what is real and what's not."

"Sure, what do you want me to talk about?"

"Anything."

"Well, we all know about you and Griss, that was quite a surprise." She watched Sara blush and grin. "Not that you'd got together, we'd all be expecting that, just that you had managed to keep it a secret from us."

"Didn't want Ecklie to know."

"Well, he's not going to find out from any of us."

"Thanks. I don't want to mess this up." Sara said as her eyes drooped again.

"Go back to sleep Sara. When you wake up Griss will probably be back."

Sara subconsciously squeezed Catherine's hand as her eyes closed again.


	7. Chapter 7

Three months between updates...I am so sorry. But as a little update and slight excuse, my final exams are only a few weeks away (eek!). My mind is pretty much filled with forensics at the moment and I can't really think about much else. Anyway, come May 20th, I will be free of uni and I promise that I will spend more time on writing. Cross my heart and all that . Thanks for being so patient with this one, I do realise that I started this 'fic two years ago! I really appreciate everyone that is still reading it and reviewing, reviews are genuinely what keeps me going during revision.

**Fragility**

**Chapter 7**

"_Grissom?" Her voice was calling him desperately. He could see her from a distance stood within a blood spattered room, it was the ER but it had blood and brain matter covering its once white walls. Her eyes search for him._

_As he ran to her , the room was increasing in size, pushing her further and further away from him. He ran faster but the expansion was quicker. No matter how hard he ran, how much he reached out, she was always just inches away. _

_He looked down at the floor which was now covered in evidence bags causing him to slip, he fell to the ground as she was pulled away from him until he could only just hear her words floating towards him on the breeze._

"_Grissom please I need you to save me."_

CSI

_She was surrounded by darkness and water, miles of smooth, still water. In the distance she could see him. He was stood on dry land, staring across the expanse of water, trying to pick her out._

_She desperately waved her arms, shouting out for him as loudly as possible. _

_She kicked her feet under the water to keep herself afloat, but she was tiring quickly, her muscles aching with every movement. She knew that if he didn't come soon she would be too exhausted to continue, she would slip beneath the cool water, drowning in its murky depths._

_He'd seen her, her arms waving in the pale moonlight had finally attracted his attention but now he was focusing on a boat which had suddenly appeared beside him. As she swallowed water, she could see him taking out his fingerprinting brush and a jar of aluminium powder. _

_He had to fingerprint the entire boat before he could rescue her, she knew this. But she also knew that if he didn't do it fast then she would drown._

_He was working too slowly, too methodically. She could feel herself sinking, she would never get to tell him that she loved him one last time. _

CSI

Grissom woke from his nightmare, gasping desperately for breath. He made a decision immediately without even thinking about it. Spontaneity was not his normal behaviour.

He grabbed his cell phone from his bed side cabinet and dialled for a taxi while dressing quickly in the first clothes he could find.

Within ten minutes of waking he was in the taxi heading back to the hospital. He needed to be with her. And he was fairly sure she needed to be with him.

He rushed through the strangely quiet hospital corridor. From down the hall, he could hear Sara's fearful voice and Catherine's soothing one.

CSI

"Sara, it's ok, it's just a dream."

She woke with a start, her body was already exhausted and was now more exhausted as she had been kicking out in her sleep, desperately trying to keep herself afloat.

"I'm drowning." She gasped.

"No, you're in hospital, you're safe, you just had a nightmare." Catherine said in the soothing voice she used when Lindsay had nightmares.

"I need Grissom."

He burst through the door, Catherine turned, expecting to see a nurse. If she was surprised to see Gil there, then she hid it. Instead she just stood back, allowing him space to see Sara.

"It's ok, Sara, I'm here." He placed his hand gently on her forehead, stroking her hair back from her face. He placed a kiss on her temple. "You're safe. I'm here."

With difficulty, he lay down beside her and held her in his arms.

"_If music be the food of love, play on:_

_Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,_

_The appetite may sicken, and so die._

_That strain again! it had had a dying fall:_

_O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,_

_That breathes upon a bank of violets,_

_Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:_

'_Tis not so sweet now as it was before._

_O spirit of love! How quick and fresh art thou,_

_That, notwithstanding thy capacity_

_Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,_

_Of what validity and pitch soe'er,_

_But falls into abatement and low price,_

_Even in a minute; so full of shapes is fancy_

_That is alone is high fantastical."_

He spoke gently to her, Shakespeare's words sounded like melody to her, soothing her fraught emotions with ease. He continued whispering beautiful sounds to her throughout the night, allowing her to drift off into a relatively peaceful sleep.

CSI

"So this is where you are?"

Grissom twisted awkwardly, feeling the stiffness of his neck as he looked towards the door.

"I've just spent the last twenty minutes banging on your door." Brass was stood with his arms crossed.

"I'm not there." Grissom replied, while gently trying to pull his arm out from beneath Sara without waking her. He freed himself and kissed Sara gently on the forehead before leaving the room with Brass.

"You were supposed to sleep and then I was going to bring you back to the hospital. Catherine said you'd only been gone a few hours!"

"Sara needed me." Grissom said, rubbing his eyes.

"She needs you to not work yourself into the ground! You're not going to be any good to her if you make yourself ill as well."

"I'm not leaving her alone here. She's scared."

"She's managed to get through enough of her life without you being so supportive!" Brass shouted.

Grissom froze causing Brass to worry that he may have gone too far. He hadn't meant to say it but he couldn't deny the anger he felt at Grissom's behaviour towards Sara during the last few years.

"I know." Grissom said quietly. "And that's what I'm trying to make up for."

"Well it's about time."

"I know." He repeated. "I know."

**The Shakespeare quote is, of course, from Twelfth Night. Reviews are like cupcakes!**


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